Why 70% of Kids Quit Sports at Age 13
On January 2, 2003 Laura Langendorf posted an article on the Sports Esteem blog.
Read 'Basic Rules for Parents>>
This article starts in the traditional way;
According to the National Alliance for Sports, of the 20 million kids who sign up, 70 percent quit playing league sports by the age of 13 and never play again. The media points to enraged parents and bad sportsmanship as the biggest problem in youth sports.
The key word is ‘Media’. Not only the traditional media but the uninformed players, fans and family too.
It is genius to point out that seventy percent of parents don’t go south at age 13 on the sports scene with their kids. After all they made it quite a few years. If the kid started hockey at age three or four then the parent enjoyed nine or ten years of success! Pretty good track record don’t you think?
So we are left with statistics from the National Alliance for Sports to explain why it goes south for seven out of ten kids. Unfortunately and as is often the case the ’statistics’ don’t take into consideration reality. Giving a bunch of thirteen year old sports drop-outs a survey form and asking them to select the check box that best answers the question on why they quit doesn’t really let you see behind the mask (or mirror in some cases).
What is missing is an understanding of child brain development. As kids hit puberty they take on a new sense of self yet do not have the brain development to explain it to National Alliance for Sports, their parents, coaches or even themselves. So IMHO talking to your child to understand how he or she feels, helping guide them through their emotions or sort out their innermost thoughts is one big waste of time.
The human brain doesn’t fully develop its capacity for rational thought until the age of 18 years! A researcher on the subject quipped teenagers act like they don’t care because they don’t!
For my money if you want to give your teenagers a fighting chance at sports then you will have to make it a requirement, not an option. If you leave the rationally challenged youths to their own means seventy percent of them will sit in front of the video screen all day, every day. In my play book that is not an option.
Comments
It should be noted that I also force them to
You mention "something as superficial as sports". My reading tells me that those who participate in sports reap all kinds of rewards; consider good health, improved attention span, improved ability at team work... (the list is long).
Uh, at what age did you feel parents should give up control and let the kids do the decision making? At ages 12 and 13 in our house it really is about what the parents want. When they turn 18 it will most certainly be all about what they want for themselves and are able to make happen.
Don't mis-understand. Our kids have plenty of choices they get to make. Why just the other day Max purchased ATV Off Road Fury IV. What a waste of forty bucks, eh?
Thanks for the comment. I'll have to look into Home Team Advantage. You know, even though Zac says he doesn't want to play roller hockey this go-around he will actually have fun doing it. It seems to me he worries that he won't be the very best as ice hockey is his forté. I think in the long haul he will see it all in perspective. Unfortunately for us parents it is tough on us too dealing with their petulance.
Max (my 13 year old) on the other hand had a tough season of rec hockey where a couple kids on the team entertained themselves by picking on him in one way or another. He wanted to bail out early. I'm not sure he is 'eager' to participate but he did ask me for new skates :)
If Zac wanted to quit hockey we would demand that he replace it with some other sport. The idea is to stay healthy via sports. Your situation sounds like something a coach (good coach) could address. I know, they are few and far between.
Check out Hockey Coach .com, this article in particular:
http://www.hockeycoach.com/boards/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=19
I wish you well and keep me posted on how it all shakes out!
What influence does your organization have with the kids. Ours is more concerned with maximizing their revenues. Generally there are few qualified coaches. Sure, they all went through the USA hockey program and got rated the level necessary for the age group they were coaching. I'm rated level 3 and I can tell you the coaching clinics do little to prepare a dad to coach. Would you agree that the great coaches aren't great because they went to the USA coaching clinics? I digress, sorry. I have found that the persons running the organizations go out of their way to avoid the parents and do little or nothing in mentoring the involved youth. I think we can all agree that teenagers are more likely to listen to their mentors/coaches, if they respect them, than they are their own parents.
What one needs to recognize is how a teenagers sense of self and desire to finally have their own control over their own life leads them to make decisions, sometimes bull headed decisions that may surprise you. These decisions will make as much sense as can be given their current state of development. If their plan is to downgrade to rec, or quit sports altogether then I believe a knowing parent will have to sit back, uninvolved, unless called upon. The chance of being called upon will be comensurite with the relationship you have managed to develop up to this point.